Monday, June 23, 2008

Confessions

Here's a list of guilty pleasures and other embarrassments. Enjoy...


I love the movie Newsies and have sung along while watching.

If I could, I would leave my job, friends, and family to enter training to be a Jedi Knight.

I can name 4 out of the 5 members of the group N*Sync. If one of them is named Chris, I can name all 5.

I flex in front of the mirror on a regular basis.

The main reason I decided to attend Azusa Pacific University is that when I toured the campus my senior year of high school, I saw the prettiest girl I had ever seen in person walk out of Engstrom Hall. I made my decision then and there and never saw that angel again.

I actually think Ashton Kutcher is kinda funny.

I would vote for Barack Obama just so the arrogant uber intellectuals would think I was cool.

I played with my younger brother's toy lightsaber late into high school.

If I had to, I could probably sing every word to "I Want It That Way" by the Backstreet Boys.

I still cry every time I watch the scene where Rudy reads his Notre Dame acceptance letter on the park bench.

I still kinda have a crush on a girl that I haven't seen since 2nd grade.

Once, at work, I was assisting one of the kids in his self help routine (brushing teeth, washing face, etc.) and I farted. A coworker of mine pointed to my kid and said "I think he just farted." "How do you know it was him?" I asked her. "I know that smell, and it's him," she replied. This means I've successfully passed my own stench off on the 12 year old, deaf, autistic kid I work with. I'm proud of that.

My arrogance is so great that I sometimes actually believe I am smarter than people wo think Napoleon Dynamite is a funny movie.

I am still scared of the troll from the movie "Ernest Scared Stupid"

I've peed in the shower before.

The best and most exciting dream I ever had is that I was a winning contestant on American Gladiators. I had that dream 6 years ago and still remember intimate details.

I owned Boys to Men's II on cassette tape in 6th grade and loved the song "On Bended Knee"

I've seen Weird Al Yankovic in concert.

I went and saw Brokeback Mountain in the theater by myself, and even though I am straight, I was offended that I was not hit on.

I pretend to have an opinion, but deep down, I don't really care who gets elected president.

I'd read Pride and Prejudice cover to cover if I actually thought It'd impress a girl that I had a crush on.

Even though everyone says he sucks, I think Keanu Reeves is a badass.

I try and put on a facade of humility, but I am constantly looking for sly ways to let people know about my impressive 10k time.

I've farted at least 7 or 8 times while writing this.




Thanks for reading, hopefully this gives you a chuckle.

Thursday, June 12, 2008

I dig your music...Your band name sucks

Occasionally, when I'm trying to sleep, I lay awake making random lists in my head. Who are the top five guitarists from the 70's? Who are the five best defensive outfielders in the National League? What are my top ten breakfast cereals of all time?

Last night, I could not sleep due to the fact that I was thinking of band names. I started thinking of great band names and band names that suck all sorts of ass. So, I started listing. As therapy, I decided to list a few of these bands in cyberspace. My only criteria for a band to be on the list is I have to own at least one of their albums, so there will be no novelty bands on here. Reasons for loving a band name include witty puns, names that just role of the tongue, something deep or emotional is communicated in the name. Reasons for hating band names include exactly the opposite of what's listed above.

Here are some band names I love in alphabetical order

The Arcade Fire
Black Sabbath
The Clash
The Cure
Fleetwood Mac
Guns 'n Roses
Led Zeppelin
Nirvana
Pearl Jam
Pink Floyd
Queen
Rage Against the Machine
The Rolling Stones
The Roots
Sigur Ros
Soundgarden
U2
The White Stripes
The Who
Wilco

Now, here are some names I strongly dislike...remember, these are all bands that I like/love, but I had to get over their name first. I mean, really, their are some awful choices here. Who makes the executive decision on these names?

Arctic Monkeys
Better than Ezra
Counting Crows
Death Cab for Cutie
Foo Fighters
Jimmy Eat World
My Morning Jacket
Pedro the Lion
Red Hot Chili Peppers
Smashing Pumpkins

I know, I know...these names probably mean something to the members of these bands...a clever inside joke perhaps. The simply don't translate well into band names. Fortunately for these bands, they make good music. A few of them make great music.

I'm interested in all of your thoughts. Do you disagree with any of my opinions? Doy you have your own band name love/hates?

Saturday, June 7, 2008

Perspiration


It's June. Sunlight illuminates the wind blowing through the trees. There's still snow on Pikes Peak. Outside is where I belong.

Ski Season is over. Saturdays finally offer a day of rest. Today's laundry list of activities include above all, laundry. Whites - check, colors - check, delicates - check, bedsheets - check, towels - check. The soft rumble of the dryer echoes in the background as a French film causes me to wonder if I could really communicate only blinking my left eye. Is there really a worse prison than one's own body?

Should I put my jeans in the dryer or hang them to dry?

The Rockies have won 3 straight games. They are now 3-7 in their last ten games. Last night, they were down 4-1 to the Brewers. They scored 5 in the bottom of the 8th to go ahead by two. It brought back feelings of excitement from last season. I want to feel that excited about something again.

Did I use too much detergent with my whites?

I guess Monday evening was rather exciting. Garret and I were given the opportunity to see the Roots in Denver. They opened for the ever creative Miss Erykah Badu. It was my first hip hop show. I wore my cool jeans, hoping to fit in with the hip crowd. The concert was really quite fantastic. The Roots covered everyone from Iron Butterfly to Talib Kweli to Julie Andrews. I never imagined that The Sound of Music would be inspiration for a 10 minute guitar solo at a hip hop show. The band did exactly what they needed to entertain. It was more about spectacle and performance than simply playing their greatest hits. I thoroughly enjoyed myself. I've never sweat so much at a concert. Garret and I also turned to each other a few times to inform of the phantom hands regularly caressing our hind ends. I guess R & B brings out the touchy feely aspect of one's personality.

Why can I never get the sheets tight and straight on my bed?

Tonight, I'll be cheering on my last place Rockies from the club level...Coors in one hand, hope in the other.